搞笑幽默的英文個(gè)性簽名
1、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
不用和傻瓜吵架，因?yàn)樗麜?huì)把你的智商拉到跟他的水平，然后再用豐富的經(jīng)驗(yàn)打敗你。
2、Evening news is where they begin with ?Good evening?, and then proceed to tell you why it isn?t.
晚間新聞總是以“晚上好”開(kāi)頭，再告訴你為什么好不了。
3、Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
海豚可聰明了，你曉得不?只需馴養(yǎng)幾個(gè)星期，他們就能讓人類(lèi)乖乖站在池邊給它們?nèi)郁~(yú)吃了。
4、Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
孩子定義：你先花2年教他們走路和說(shuō)話，然后你再花16年叫他們坐定和閉嘴。
5、It?s not the fall that kills you; it?s the sudden stop at the end.
跳樓的時(shí)候，“啊~~“的時(shí)候還沒(méi)死，”啪!“那才是死了。
6、Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
絕對(duì)不要和長(zhǎng)得丑的爭(zhēng)執(zhí)，他們已經(jīng)沒(méi)什么可輸?shù)腵了‘
7、A little boy asked his father , ”Daddy, how mach dose it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don?t know son, I?m still paying.”
一單純傻兒子問(wèn)他爹：“爸，結(jié)婚到底要付出多大代價(jià)?” 他爸說(shuō)：“兒啊，我真不知道、、、、我還在償付呢。
8、If at first you don?t succeed, try again … unless you fail at skydiving.
如果一次不成功，別放棄，再試一次、、、、、除非你在跳傘。
9、A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
你趕不上的巴士永遠(yuǎn)比你趕上的巴士跑得快兩倍。
10、It is said that 90% of the things we worry about will never happen, and the other 10% can be managed. So why do we worry, and what is there to worry about?
據(jù)說(shuō)我們所擔(dān)心的事90%都不會(huì)發(fā)生，而剩下的10%又完全可以解決。所以，我們?yōu)槭裁匆獡?dān)心呢?又有什么值得擔(dān)心的呢?
11、I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health and love. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal – and soon they?ll forget my number.
我的“心靈電話”是為祥和、健康和博愛(ài)而設(shè)。每當(dāng)懷疑、焦慮和恐懼試圖和我聯(lián)系時(shí)，電話總是在占線，所以很快它們就忘了我的號(hào)碼
12、If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.
如果你看到麻煩從路上向你走來(lái)，有一點(diǎn)可以確定，在觸到你以前，它們十有八九會(huì)滾進(jìn)路邊的溝。
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